What to do when your memory fails you (and how to make it better)

Memory problems can arise from many causes. We might be able to change some factors, like getting better sleep, exercise, or nutrition. But other causes might not have a “cure,” like brain injury or dementia. Either way, there are often things we can do to improve how our memory is working – sometimes with internal (mental) strategies, and other times with external (environmental) strategies. Here I am sharing four types of memory problems, what to do in the moment of difficulty, and how to improve.

Free DIRECT download: When your memory fails you (patient handout). (Email subscribers get free access to all the resources in the Free Subscription Library.)

Outline:

Short-term memory

Short-term memory is actually quite short, on the order of seconds or minutes, but we often use the term “short-term memory” when we talk about forgetting:

  • What happened recently.
  • Details of conversations.
  • Information we read.
  • Where we put something.

Whatever we call this type of memory, there are things we can do to help ourselves.

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What to do in the moment of trouble:

When we have a memory lapse, we can rewind, go to the source, or let it go.

Rewind:

  • Mentally retrace our thoughts.
  • Retrace our steps.

Go to the source:

  • If the information is written down, look for it.
  • If we forget appointment details, we can call the office.
  • Maybe a family member or friend told us something that we can’t remember. We can ask them.

If the above doesn’t work, we can let it go.

  • We could ask a trusted person to help.
  • Or we could come back to it later, if it’s important.

Having our memory fail just when we need it is no fun, but luckily there are things we can do to improve the chances that our memory will pull through for us.

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How to improve short term memory

There are many ways we can improve our short term memory for the things we want to remember. Here are some:

  • Make a “home” for important belongings.
  • Take notes during phone calls and important conversations.
  • Use WRAP strategies to help you remember information or where you put things.
    • Write it.
    • Repeat it.
    • Associate it.
    • Picture it.
  • Study information you want to remember.
  • Use a memory tool, such as:
    • Journal or log book.
    • Calendar.
    • Photographs.
    • Voice memo.
    • Virtual assistant.

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Remembering to do something in the future

Another frequent problem we may have is remembering to do something in the future. This is called prospective memory. It includes everything from remembering why we walked into the kitchen to remembering to take medications to remembering to pay our taxes.

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What to do in the moment of trouble

If we realize there was something we were supposed to do, but can’t remember what it was, we can stop and take stock, check in, or come back to it later.

Stop and take stock:

  • Look around for context clues.
  • Mentally retrace our steps.
  • Check ourself – are we hungry, thirsty, or in pain?

If we’re still unsure, we can check in with other sources:

  • Check our calendar, phone, or to-do list.
  • Ask a trusted person for help.

By this point, if we can’t work it out, we can come back to it later. If it’s important, we’ll probably realize sooner or later what it was.

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How to improve prospective memory

There are several ways we can improve our chances of remembering to do something in the future. Here are some:

Getting up to do something?

  • Make a clear plan before you move. Spell it out clearly in your mind.
  • Repeat your plan as you move.
  • If needed, carry a reminder with you, like a related object or a note.

Planning a future task?

  • Use a memory tool, such as:
    • Calendar.
    • To-do list.
    • Alarms.
    • Pill box.

We can keep a success/failure log to see what works for us. Some people may find to-do lists helpful, while others may forget to look at the list. Perhaps they would do better using a digital calendar that can alert them.

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Word retrieval and tip of the tongue

A common problem is tip-of-the-tongue problem – when we know what we want to say but we can’t think of the right word. Here are some strategies we can try.

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What to do in the moment of trouble

One or more of these strategies might help us when we’re stuck, trying to think of the word we want to use:

  • Pause – it might come to us.
  • Describe it – category, appearance, purpose, location, associations, etc.
  • Gesture – can we show what it is?
  • Point to it, or in the direction where it is.
  • Scan the alphabet for the first letter of the word.
  • Use a similar word.
  • Draw it.
  • Put that “blank” at the end of a predictable sentence.

I think the strategies are self-explanatory, except for possibly the last one. Here’s an example of putting the “blank” at the end of a predictable sentence:

  • Failure: “Would you grab the … oh, what do you call it?”
  • Self-cue: “You know, you cut the paper with a pair of scissors.” By the time we got to the end of the sentence (“…cut the paper with a pair of___”), the word popped into our head.

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How to improve word retrieval

As with all memory issues, there are many ways we can improve word retrieval.

Study important words you use often:

  • Make flashcards and review often (ex, index cards or an app).
  • Study your word list using the WRAP memory strategies.
    • Write your word 10 times, then cover and test yourself.
    • Try to visualize the word. Make it memorable.
    • Associate your word with other things you know.

Try an evidence-based therapy, such as:

  • Semantic Feature Analysis.
  • Attentive Reading and Constrained Summarization.
  • Verb Network Strengthening Treatment (VNeST).
  • Anagram, Copy, and Recall Treatment for Writing.

Practice word retrieval with word games.

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Remembering names

Many of us have trouble remembering names. Here are some tips that might help.

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What to do in the moment of trouble

  • Scan the alphabet for the first letter of the name.
  • If they’re part of a couple, try to remember their partner’s name.
  • Have you seen their name written down? Try to visualize it.
  • Wait for someone else to say their name.
  • Apologize and ask for their name.

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How to improve memory for names

  • Repeat the name.
  • Try to associate the name with the person’s appearance, personality, occupation, or hobby.
  • Write the name down along with a few details about the person.
  • Link the person to someone else you know who has the same name (can be a celebrity, a character, or a historical figure).
  • Visualize their name attached to their body (like an imaginary name tag, tattoo, or sign).
  • Review your list of names and descriptions often, especially before going to a place where you’re likely to see them.

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Helpful resources

Exercises, tips, and tools for memory

How to improve short term memory – online memory exercises. Here you can find printable exercises, apps, and games.

Improve auditory memory with this easy exercise. I wrote this for other speech-language pathologists, but I think anyone could follow it.

Improve your working memory with 60 quick exercises. Improving working memory can improve short term memory, prospective memory, and word retrieval.

Learn two easy ways to make a memory notebook. I share two easy ways for organizing a memory notebook (not to be confused with a memory book). You can see examples in the free download.

How to help adults improve reading comprehension and recall. I share 3 templates you might find useful for short-term recall of information your patients read. The templates include prompts for using association and visualization to support encoding.

Useful tools to help people with cognitive impairment. These are books and products that I use or recommend to my patients and fellow clinicians.

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Word finding tips and exercises

Attentive Reading and Constrained Summarization tutorial. ARCS is used to improve word finding, short term memory, topic maintenance, and other cognitive skills.

My patient improved conversation with ARCS. Here I show how I adapted ARCS for a particular patient.

How to help adults improve reading comprehension and recall. If you use ARCS, you may notice that some of your patients have difficulty writing concise, organized notes. Try using one of these 3 free templates! They are useful for short-term memory exercises as well.

Learn how to do AbSANT therapy for aphasia. AbSANT is an evidence-based approach for treating anomia. AbSANT focuses on training abstract words to improve conversation. Learn how to do AbSANT and find the resources and materials you need.

Tactus Therapy specializes in treating word finding and related skills. Check out their blog and apps! Here are a few I recommend:

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There are many related EST posts! Here are a few that aren’t in the list above. Each post comes with a free download.

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Free DIRECT download: When your memory fails you (patient handout). (Email subscribers get free access to all the resources in the Free Subscription Library.)

Featured image by DS stories by Pexels, found on Canva.com.

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Lisa earned her M.A. in Speech-Language Pathology from the University of Maryland, College Park and her M.A. in Linguistics from the University of California, San Diego.

She participated in research studies with the National Institute on Deafness and other Communication Disorders (NIDCD) and the University of Maryland in the areas of aphasia, Parkinson’s Disease, epilepsy, and fluency disorders.

Lisa has been working as a medical speech-language pathologist since 2008. She has a strong passion for evidence-based assessment and therapy, having earned five ASHA Awards for Professional Participation in Continuing Education.

She launched EatSpeakThink.com in June 2018 to help other clinicians be more successful working in home health, as well as to provide strategies and resources to people living with problems eating, speaking, or thinking.

2 Comments

  1. Linda said:

    This is really useful thank you very much

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